JunkFunk
02-05-2005, 02:49 AM
This week has been really bad for me.
Last wednesday, my father died. We all knew it was coming, he has been in bad shape for over a year now. Always in and out of the hospital, stuck on a oxygen tank and many other things, it was terrible seeing him like that. But it was still a shock when he died. I was and still am pretty down. All the more reason to seek help from my friends and my girlfriend.
So I thought. My gf has been in ecuador for the last 4 months. She came back four days ago. Yesterday we broke up. I know things like this happen, I'm not really angry about that, we were having problems anyway. What bugs the shit out of me is the fact that since she came back, she never once asked me how I was doing. How the ceremony was. What else is planned. Nothing. Since she came back, no hug, no real kiss, nothing. On the night she came back, she wanted to go dancing with her friends.
Yesterday, we talked about it. I told her what I thought about the situation, I already knew it was over and was expecting some stupid exuse why she basically left me alone. But what she said still surprised me. She said she stayed away from me because she thought thats what I wanted. She said that I'm the type of guy who keeps his feelings to himself, that I didnt want to talk about it. Now I admit, I'm not the type of guy who openly shows his feelings. Usually, I keep my anger and sorrow deep inside me. Usually. But for fucks sake, my FATHER died. I need attention, I need someone to talk to. And if not my gf, then who? Even if it was over, we have been together for almost three years. She could have at least given me a tight hug, talked to me about whatever. The fact that she didnt, that she would use such a stupid excuse, I'm sorry, that just pisses me off.
Tonight I'm meeting some friends in town, and goddamnit I'm getting drunk. I think I'm really going to enjoy that.
Sorry for bugging you guys with this, I just needed to get this out of my system.
Last wednesday, my father died. We all knew it was coming, he has been in bad shape for over a year now. Always in and out of the hospital, stuck on a oxygen tank and many other things, it was terrible seeing him like that. But it was still a shock when he died. I was and still am pretty down. All the more reason to seek help from my friends and my girlfriend.
So I thought. My gf has been in ecuador for the last 4 months. She came back four days ago. Yesterday we broke up. I know things like this happen, I'm not really angry about that, we were having problems anyway. What bugs the shit out of me is the fact that since she came back, she never once asked me how I was doing. How the ceremony was. What else is planned. Nothing. Since she came back, no hug, no real kiss, nothing. On the night she came back, she wanted to go dancing with her friends.
Yesterday, we talked about it. I told her what I thought about the situation, I already knew it was over and was expecting some stupid exuse why she basically left me alone. But what she said still surprised me. She said she stayed away from me because she thought thats what I wanted. She said that I'm the type of guy who keeps his feelings to himself, that I didnt want to talk about it. Now I admit, I'm not the type of guy who openly shows his feelings. Usually, I keep my anger and sorrow deep inside me. Usually. But for fucks sake, my FATHER died. I need attention, I need someone to talk to. And if not my gf, then who? Even if it was over, we have been together for almost three years. She could have at least given me a tight hug, talked to me about whatever. The fact that she didnt, that she would use such a stupid excuse, I'm sorry, that just pisses me off.
Tonight I'm meeting some friends in town, and goddamnit I'm getting drunk. I think I'm really going to enjoy that.
Sorry for bugging you guys with this, I just needed to get this out of my system.